Woman eats lunch then carries own daughter

BREAKING NEWS......

The wife of a mediocre football player currently signed to Stoke, ate her lunch. Then she carried her daughter out of the restaurant. Whilst wearing...............JEANS.

Firstly it would be kind to point out that Abbey Clancy is roughly the same weight as her daughter and carrying her looked like a struggle.

Secondly the Daily Mail seems to think that it is news that she wore "tight denims, which included racy zip detailing on the side".

It is also worth noticing that this news article is higher up their website than an article on the kidnap of 200, yes 200, school girls in Nigeria.

Absolutely ridiculous journalism DM.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

Girl who gets knockers out concerned about drunk driver

BREAKING NEWS.....

Casey Batchelor (yes you may have to google her. She gets her knockers out for Nuts and stuff) is "concerned" about Lee Ryan from Blue after his recent driving ban.

She has reportedly "been in touch with him through friends". What the deuce does that even mean?!

Also Hello Magazine have come up with this riddle for you to solve:

"Danielle Armstrong's pal may think Duncan James' band mate is a "silly boy", but she believes that "doesn't make him a bad person""

What????

This is the lowest of the low. Not only are the people not famous (either now or ever) but this isn't even a story. She hasn't even spoke to him.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

90's TV star wears make up

BREAKING NEWS.....

Somebody, who was in US show "Saved by the Bell" has attended a premier. And she wore make up. And it looked bad.

Lark Voorhies (who??) who played Lisa Turtle has been seen in public for the first time in 2 years. There is a clue DM. If she hasn't been seen in 2 years, she definitely isn't current or relevant.

Also her last role was Lisa Turtle. In the 90's. That is literally 20 years ago now. Time to move on.

Note: Her make up does look terrible. It's just not relevant.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

Knob does yoga

BREAKING NEWS.....

Now I did have to google who this woman was......so before I start this post I know it is not news. But the spouse of Alec Baldwin is an absolute Class A Knob who seems to think it is acceptable to do yoga everywhere.

She is probably friends with Gwyneth Paltrow and they sit together and come up with ways how to ram there clean living nonsense down everybody's throats.

Also her name is Hilaria. How hilariously stupid is that?

Here is some pictures of her being a knob.

Girl with big butt catches car keys

BREAKING NEWS.......

Hold on to your seats ladies and gentleman, for the Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that somebody "dangerously" threw a set of car keys to somebody else. And they caught them.

WHAT THE DEUCE??

Yes that is right folks, the famous for nothing reality TV show Kim Kardashian is "more than just a pretty face" after her husband-to-be Kanye West throws her some car keys. And she catches them.

He then hid behind the door, refusing to come out.

What are you on about DM?! Surely this happens nearly everyday at some point in other peoples homes?

Thank god she caught them though. God forbid if she had dropped them on the floor, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

Someone went to the beach and wears next to nothing

BREAKING NEWS.....

Just what everybody needs, a new nobody pretending to be an old nobody. There is, according to the DM, somebody who looks like Kim Kardashian on a beach. And they used this as an excuse to take photographs of her "frolicking in the waves". Bleeeurrgh.

It is bad enough the Kim Kardashian gets the coverage she does. But now it is just people who look vaguely like her.

And I am always dubious about people who list their occupation as "entrepreneur, model, professional host, swimsuit designer, actress, fashion blogger and anti-bullying activist".
Yeah right. That isn't a job. That essentially means you are unemployed but good looking enough to get by.

Please go out and get some actual news to report on DM.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

Youtube

Hi Guys,

Just a quick one......I would be very grateful if you check out my vlog :-)

Stuff what my Nan gave me

Started this yesterday and its very random! Let me know your thoughts xx